Genetic Variations and Propogation of the Moonflower
by fishebake
Summary: One shots, omakes, and deleted scenes from Moonflower and Dreaming of Moonflowers. Rating varies from K to T.
1. The Birthday Thing

**In honor of Kakashi's birthday, I wrote a birthday one shot for him! Happy Birfday, Kakashi!  
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 **Inoko forgets Kakashi's birthday. Chaos ensues as she tries to give him his present. Kakashi and everyone else thinks she's going to murder him.**

* * *

Inoko stared at her calendar, having crossed out the previous day. _September fifteenth_ , she thought with a dark aura. _I forgot to get him a present!_

"Summoning jutsu!" she shouted, slamming her hand into the ground. Fukuro appeared, looking half asleep and slightly confused. "Fukuro, I have a major issue!"

"Wha?" he slurred.

"It's Ka - wait, are you hungover?"

"Jus' a li'le," he said, covering his eyes with a wing.

"What, did you have a thimble of sake?" she teased, crouching down.

"I will stab you, summoner."

"Yeah, yeah. But back to my problem." She began to pace. "Today is Kakashi's birthday, and I haven't gotten him a present and I have no idea what to get him!" Inoko crouched again with a desperate look on her face. "Do you see my problem?"

"Why don't you ask your mutual friends, or something."

You could almost see the lightbulb going off over her head.

"Genius, Fukuro! This is why I keep you around!" She scooped him up and cuddled him to her chest. "You can desummon yourself now, thanks!" Inoko barely paused to get dressed before shooting out the window.

* * *

Kakashi's day had started out normally. He narrowly avoided Gai's enthusiastic birthday greeting by escaping out his bathroom window. Granted, he hadn't been able to fit through there since he was twelve, but he made it work. Now he had eaten breakfast and was casually walking down the street with his nose buried in a romantic comedy.

Inoko had burned his latest copy of Icha Icha. That made four copies, and he was barely past chapter one. Maybe he should give up…

Asuma landed in front of him, panting as if he had run from here to Suna and back again. He also appeared slightly singed.

"What is it?" he asked, stiffening. Just his luck that it was on his birthday… "Invasion? Is someone attacking us?"

"No," Asuma panted. "It's… Inoko." _Inoko? Has she really turned on us after four years of service?_ "Man, I don't know what you did to piss her off, but she's on the warpath. Dude, freaking _run_."

* * *

"Where is everyone?" Inoko muttered, scratching her head. "I know they aren't on missions. I can't even hear Gai anywhere." She bit the inside of her cheek and thought.

Actually figuring out what she was going to do for Kakashi's birthday wasn't that hard. Tracking down the now eighteen year old was. Not to mention that all of their mutual friends were avoiding her. Honestly, she hadn't meant to almost explode Asuma.

 _Am I going to get in trouble for almost killing the Hokage's son?_ Inoko stared blankly into space for several seconds before shrugging. _Ah, who cares, I'm not rested enough to think about this._

After the snake eyed woman passed, shinobi began to trickle out of their various hiding places.

"Is she gone?"

"Somebody find Kakashi. We need a sacrifice."

"Like I'm getting anywhere between him and the nearest safe spot."

* * *

"Oh, hi, Tenzo!" The teen in question froze in horror. He knew that voice. Oh, gods above, did he know that voice.

Inoko threw an arm around his shoulders and smiled cheerfully at him. Tenzo began to sweat. During his time in Root, he had faced down many terrible enemies without batting an eye, but something about the woman grinning next to him evoked a horror that made all other dangers pale in comparison.

"I-Inoko-senpai," he stuttered. "How can I help you today?"

"Hm, you know that today is Ebi-chan's birthday, right?"

"I didn't," Tenzo said, wondering how best to escape.

"Hmm, shame. Anyway, any idea where he is? He's been avoiding me all afternoon and it's really starting to piss me off." She tightened her grip ever so slightly on his shoulder. He shuddered.

"I-I'll let him know that you're looking for him if I see him," Tenzo promised. Inoko smiled brightly at him.

"Thanks, kohai!" she said cheerfully before flouncing off. He gave a heavy sigh of relief. _It appears I have survived yet another encounter with Inoko-senpai_. _I just hope that Taicho gets away safely._

* * *

Gai was on a mission. He had to Find and Protect his Most Honored Rival from whatever fearsome punishment Inoko-san had for him. She had been on the warpath all day. Gai's guess was that her Youthful Scarlet Moon Flower had arrived, and his Rival had done something to anger her.

He shook his head. Kakashi was a brilliant shinobi, but when it came to matters of women, his Rival had no idea what to do or how to treat Konoha's Lovely Flowers. Especially those of a more Delicate nature.

Gai at last tracked down his Rival at a park that civilian mothers frequented, disguised as a normal civilian man. His agitated chakra might as well be a beacon to any shinobi on the lookout for Kakashi.

"My Rival!" he boomed, frightening some children and earning glares from their mothers. Gai ignored them and went on. "It appears that you have upset Inoko-san!"

"Really?" Kakashi said sarcastically, slouching further into the bench. "I hadn't noticed. She's only been hunting me down for the past eight hours."

"I would suggest you take Extreme Measures to appease Inoko-san!"

"Like what?"

"Proclaim your Friendship with flowers!"

"She's a Yamanaka, she has plenty of flowers."

"Kakashi!" Both teens spun around. Inoko was steadily approaching, smiling brightly, but leaking just the tiniest amount of killing intent.

"Go, my Rival! I shall buy you time to appease her!" Kakashi instantly vanished, silently resolving to thank Gai later if he was still alive.

* * *

She finally cornered him at the entrance to the Hokage monument. The only way out was through her, and he didn't like his chances. Slowly backing up, he said, "H-Hey, Inoko, what's up?"

"The sky," she growled. A dark aura was swirling around her. "Also, why have you been _avoiding_ me _all day_?" Kakashi laughed nervously. _I'm dead. This is it. This is how I die._ He felt the wall against his back and paled. Out of room, out of time. Inoko came closer, glowering.

Kakashi closed his eyes.

He heard Inoko sigh before she grabbed his hand and began dragging. "Uh…"

"I'm taking you out for dinner, my treat," she snapped, clearly still annoyed. "Happy birthday, Ebi-chan."

"I… Thank you." She raised an eyebrow at him, amusement finally slipping through.

"Of course. I don't see you often enough; you're always doing Anbu crap and leaving me alone."

"I have no obligation to entertain you."

"Sure you do. What do you think about tempura?"

* * *

 **OMAKE**

Kakashi glanced up at Inoko, who was barely containing her amusement. "Really, Inoko. Shrimp tempura.

"Your sense of humor sucks."


	2. Master Ninja Theme Song

**I wrote this entire thing while listening to Ninjabridge, which is what this is based on, namely the theme song. Heh. If you haven't seen Ninjabridge yet, do it if you don't mind foul language, vile jokes, and adult humor. The jokes are just XD Never got past the wave arc, sadly. I wonder what they would have made of Orochimaru….**

 **WE LOVE YOU DAVID BOWIE SAMA SENSEI SENPAI SAN SAMAAAAAA… KUN.**

* * *

"... what," Sasuke finally said in a flat voice. "That is by far the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"No, it's awesome," I protested. "I mean, just _think_ of Sensei's expression!"

"It sounds super cool!" Naruto said cheerfully.

"I'm glad you approve, because I'm going to need your shadow clones if Sasuke refuses to help."

"I'm not going to encourage your hairbrained id-" I slapped a tag on his forehead and caught him as his eyes rolled up and he collapsed.

"Knockout tags are the best," I sighed happily.

Naruto gawked in awe and surprise. "You can make knockout tags now?!"

"Nah, I bought this one special in case Sasuke refused. Hand me some ninja wire, will you? Make the shadow clones; I'll start teaching you what to do."

* * *

Kakashi slowly made his way over to the training grounds where he was supposed to meet his genin two hours before. Inoko had threatened to burn his apartment down if they had to wait too long. Given their last mission where she 'accidentally' burned down an entire town, he was inclined to believe her.

The other jōnin laughed at him when he complained about her. They hadn't gone on a mission with the little demon.

He was vaguely aware of Sasuke tied to a tree twenty meters away, but most of his attention was on Naruto, his two shadow clones, and Inoko perched in the tree above him. The shadow clones had henged into Sasuke and Inoko.

The clone henged as Sasuke caught sight of him and began to beatbox.

… _what._

"Puh chka buh puh chka buh," Naruto started rapping out. _What in the fu-_

"Bah bah bah bah bah bah baaah," Inoko-clone screeched. "Ba-bah bap bap bah dap bah. Bah bah bah bah bah dup bah!"

Inoko dropped out of the branches henged as Kakashi, threw a couple gang signs, and shouted, "Master Ninja Theme Song!"

"Bah, baaaaah," Inoko-clone finished. Kakashi stared flatly at them. The clones dispelled and Inoko dropped her henge. The two of them shifted their weight from foot to foot, ridiculous looks on their faces.

Kakashi snapped his book shut, fell to his knees, faceplanted into the ground, and screamed incoherently into the grass.

"... I think we broke him."

* * *

 **ZOMBIE NINJA DAVID BOWIE IS MY SENSEI.**

* * *

 **OMAKE**

 **Two hours later**

"Um... Inoko, he's still screaming."

"Untie me."

"No. ... Yeah we broke him. Dibs on his stuff."


	3. Akamaru

**Dedicated to May525, who noticed that Inoko never gave Akamaru back in Moonflower Chapter Two. Sharp eye! Also, I have a discord server for Moonflower related things! Link is in my profile.**

* * *

"Your bunshin?" Iruka-sensei sighed, snapping me back to reality.

"Oh. Right. Heh, sorry about that, Sensei." I summoned my chakra and twisted it into three bunshin.

"That was satisfactory," he nodded, then offered me a headband. "Congratulations! You've passed." I whooped and ran out the door, barely pausing to grab it. "Eat that, Kiba!"

"Oh, you did pass," he said with a toothy grin.

"Don't be a pest, dog-breath," I said, pulling Akamaru off his head and placing him on mine. "It makes you look dumber than you already are."

"Hey!" I looked around our group, searching for one particular blonde. Even with all my help, had he…?

"Ino, have you seen Naruto?" I asked. She and Sakura were in the middle of a glaring contest. "Earth to Hormonal Girls. Where's Naruto?"

"Who knows?" Sakura shrugged. "I don't think he passed, though. He was looking pretty upset." _Frick._ I had a choice here. Either find Naruto and talk him out of his insanely stupid plan to steal the Forbidden Scroll, or let the plot take its course. Tonight would be very important event for him, but _augh I promised myself to derail the plot!_

I felt a finger on my nose. "Hey. What's up?" Ino retracted her hand, smirking a little. "You had that look on your face. You know, the 'pondering mighty things' look." I waved her hand away, annoyed.

"I'm fine," I said irritably. "I'm going home. Tell Shika I said bye."

"H-Hey, wait! You still have Akamaru!" Kiba shouted at me.

"He's mine now. Bye."

"What? No!"

"Are you a good puppy doggy, Akamaru?" He licked my nose and wagged his tail. "It's decided. He's mine now. Bye."


	4. On a Matter of Soulmates - 1

**Yeah I wanted to do this lolol my brain comes up with weird things** _ **anyway**_

 **Basically this is a Moonflower AU where people are born with the names of their soulmates on their bodies somewhere. Soulmates meaning that the other person completes you in a way no one else can, be that in a platonic way or a romantic way, or even as mortal enemies.**

 **Brown/smudged: unborn**

 **Red: in mortal peril**

 **Silver: alive and doing fine more or less**

 **Black: dey ded boi**

 **There will probably be a few different versions of this but the color scheme will remain the same methinks.**

* * *

Uchiha Itachi twisted around to see his bare shoulder in his mother's floor length mirror. The brown smudge on his shoulder blade was slowly becoming clearer. His entire body was vibrating with excitement because at long last, his soulmate was coming into the world.

"How much longer?" he whispered to Mikoto as she nursed his baby brother.

"Patience, Itachi," she whispered back. "It'll happen in due time."

He stared harder at the smudge, willing it to become clear. The five year old was becoming frustrated with how slowly it was going. Sometimes it was getting close to that blessed silver, almost clear enough to read, but then it would go back to smudged brown.

"Why don't you read a book while you wait?" Mikoto suggested. Itachi's shoulders sank as he nodded, picking up one of his textbooks.

He had been getting out of the bath when he first noticed the glints of silver in the brown blur. A mixture of ecstacy and anxiety had erupted in him because he was finally going to meet his soulmate.

Would they like him? Would they mind that he was an older Uchiha?

Itachi found himself glazing over the pages, not knowing what he had just read. Sasuke began to fuss. An electric thrill ran through him and he knew it was time.

"Mother," Itachi asked quietly. "Is it done?"

He could feel Mikoto's cool hands touch his back as she examined what he knew had to be a silver name. He shivered.

"Ah, it is! Oh, I'm so happy for you, Itachi."

He couldn't keep the grin from his face. "Who is it? What's their name?"

Itachi's heart was in his throat. Mikoto smiled, mischief dancing in her eyes.

"Yamanaka Inoko."

* * *

Inoichi held his younger daughter in his arms, amazed at how small she was. Little Inoko had screamed herself out, finally falling asleep from sheer exhaustion. Her older sister, Ino, was resting in her mother's arms.

He had been really unsure about fatherhood, but one look at his daughters and he was in love. He wanted nothing more than to adore his little girls for eternity.

Minato had popped in - literally, in his case - to offer his congratulations before vanishing back to his duties as Hokage. In all honesty, he was surprised that Shikaku and Chouza weren't here yet.

"Yo," one of the men in question drawled from the doorway. "Sorry I'm late. Yoshino's water broke about an hour ago. She was sending me all over the house fetching her things. It was…"

"Troublesome?" Chouza offered from behind the Nara. He just grunted. "Hello, Noriko-san."

"Hello, Chouza-san," Noriko said with a weak smile. "How's the family?"

"Good, Chouji's getting bigger every day. His soul mark had some bits of silver about an hour ago, so we're looking forward to that."

"Speaking of soul marks," Shikaku started. "Do your girls have theirs?"

"Ino and Inoko," he replied. "And I honestly haven't checked."

"You named your girls… Ino… and Inoko…"

"Like you aren't going to name your kids Shikamaru and Shikako if you get a boy and a girl."

Inoichi snorted to himself as he glanced over Inoko for her soul mark. A curl of silver on the inside of her forearm caught his eye.

"Oh hell," he muttered.

"What is it?" Noriko asked, alarmed.

"I found Inoko's soul mark."

"And?"

"Uchiha Itachi."

Silence reigned for several stunned seconds. Shikaku summed the situation up with a single word.

"Troublesome."

* * *

The atmosphere was awkward to say the least. Itachi had suffered through a full twenty four hours knowing his soulmate was _here_ but unable to see her. Now he had to wait longer as his parents discussed the situation with her parents.

The Uchiha took their soulmates extremely seriously. Whenever possible, they brought an Uchiha soulmate into the family.

Their usual solution wasn't going to work.

The elders could push all they like, but Itachi highly doubted that the head of the Yamanaka would allow them taking Inoko into the Uchiha in any way, shape, or form until she was old enough to get married.

That… was an odd thought. Itachi frowned.

"I see no harm in letting Itachi-kun be around Inoko," Yamanaka-sama finally said. "And perhaps when Inoko is older, she could do other things with him as well."

"This is acceptable," Fugaku said with a slight nod. "I have no intention of trying to take your daughter from you."

"Thank you, Uchiha-san. Now that that's been settled, I believe Itachi-kun would like to see Inoko?"

Itachi's heart leaped up into his throat. He didn't trust his voice to remain steady as he nodded eagerly.

Noriko-sama went to fetch Inoko from the other room where a cousin was watching the infants. He struggled to restrain his excitement as she entered the room with a vaguely blonde baby. Butterflies danced in his belly.

His first impression of his soulmate was…. anger. She glared at everything like it had personally offended her.

And she was so. Cute. Almost cuter than his own brother. That was with her glaring at him like he had insulted her entire family with the worst language possible.

"Hello," he whispered to her. "My name is Itachi. I'm your soulmate."

* * *

 _Hajimemashite. Onamae wa Itachi desu. Boku wa anata no sōrumeito desu._

If I had known what those words meant then, I probably would have barfed on him. As it was, I was still pretty stressed out and thus ignored him.

If only...

* * *

 **This is the first of a series of drabbles I'd like to do. Review and tell me what you think! ^-^**


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